Our time together started out strong: these beautiful women who came enthusiastic for hope and eager for practical resources. We were a healthy mixture of mamas and nanas and career folks, all excited about gathering in community with women who “get us,” connecting as only women can.
A few were making fairly quick changes in their lives, all based on the godly truths we’d been studying together.
It was our fifth week in a run of twelve that I noticed it. How some of those who had promised to faithfully connect buckled to the temptation, swapping this time for themselves for the more important things.
As weeks passed, the group wondered, prayed, and even clawed a little to hold onto our intimacy, lifting up those who had been pulled away by full lives. But the group of closely knit women continued to shrink.
Outreach failure; it’s hard not to take it personal.
Maybe you’ve felt it too? The disappointment and discouragement that comes when your connections fizzle, when best-laid plans fail, and when things don’t progress the way you think they should. Maybe you’ve chased all the latest ideas for growing your groups, or reaching out to others, and your doubt is centering inward and you find yourself wondering if you’re even cut out for this.
Consider this: maybe it’s not you, after all. Maybe under this surface of life, there’s a lot of stuff tucked in the hearts of women these days that can keep them from consistently connecting—even though it’s the very thing they crave.
So how do we do this? How do we connect? How do we consistently encourage those who desperately long for encouragement but who are pressed by a lack of time?
A few years on the other side of meeting with those beautiful women, I’ve done it a few more times. Gathered hearts together in a loving, safe environment where we could chat about the things that folks don’t always say out loud. And each time I do it, I’m learning these things that help.
While I don’t subscribe to a systematic approach for knitting hearts close, I will share these ideas with you in the hopes they may somehow refresh your own efforts.
1. Authentic Investment. To foster a lasting connection with women, open yourself up in a transparent, meaningful way. Be honest—not just about your triumphs but about the trials that led you there. Concentrate on both godly truths and personal relationship. And don’t be afraid to set aside the agenda some nights—maybe have a full night of prayer ministry for one another, or a night of celebration.
2. Progression and Anticipation. Create a culture for forward strides, even if you start with baby steps. Always be moving forward. And in the spirit of forward motion, always be transferring an enthusiasm for “what’s next” to your group. A forward-focused group tends to be an exciting place.
3. Fun Times. Maybe that should read “bring chocolate.” I believe those who pray together should party together. Do something just for fun once in a while. Create shared memories. {If you’re an online group, take photos.}
4. Engage. Connect individually. We all want to feel known, accepted. Reach out to those who miss, filling them in. Draw out the quieter ones in the group. When appropriate, encourage contact within and outside of the group environment.
5. Community Projects. After you create an environment that serves their needs, encourage them to do the same. Switch from an inward focus to reaching out, helping others by doing a project together as a group.
Small group success as we sometimes gauge it can be misleading. As encouragers, our identities do not lie in these numbers we reach—that’s a work only God can do. It’s the spiritual, emotional, and relational growth that matters, regardless of how many of us are growing together. I’ll pray that truth for your tender heart, and you feel free to remind me of that on those days my doubt tempts.
How about you? Are you a woman who encourages others? What ways have you found to keep your group connected? Consider sharing in the comments below.
To celebrate our FIRST post here on our new home place on the web, we’re doing a GIVEAWAY. Because we like to give away awesome things that will make you smile. Be sure to participate for a chance to win a DaySpring prize package valued at over $100. A beautiful necklace and an inspirational gift set to remind you that you are Created, Called, and Crowned for such a time as this!
Love this! “It’s the spiritual, emotional and relational growth that matters…”
Hey friend . . . so good to see you here! XO
JoAnn, thank you for sharing this article. I am part of the Raising Generations Today team, and we have what is called “Moms’ Meet Up” groups. I shared this article with the leaders, because these are 5 GREAT ways to engage a small group!
I have personally found that I have to go above and beyond. Reach out, write an encouraging note or text message, and be proactive at strengthening my one-on-one relationships with each person. My motto: SERVE HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY. This is especially important in building better relationships. Serve the other person. Respect them. Show them that you care about them.
Looking forward to getting to know you and the Women Leading Women team better.
Tricia,
Love this. I love your focus and your reach, but most of all your heart. I was talking with a friend the other day about the critical need for creating a culture of care. And it sounds this is exactly what you have done. Beautiful!
Great to connect, friend.
I’m so excited for this!! <3
So glad YOU are joining us, lending your voice and your beautiful heart!
Love #4. Making those connections between meetings are so important! I keep track to make sure I connect with everyone in my group. They really seem to love and appreciate a hand written note mailed to their home. We also use email to keep the group informed and connected. Popping up in their email box can be both an encouragement and a reminder.
I absolutely love hand-written notes. I’m old school that way. Great tips!
I love these tips. I’ve been there and gave up. Mainly because at the time, I felt God drawing me inward, to find me, to heal me, before I could pour into others. I’m still in this stage but feel He’s working on leading me back out again.
Oh how thankful I am that you paid attention to his call inward. Soul-care is crucial as we learn to wholeheartedly pour into the lives of others and too often, in a desire to serve, we ignore the desperate plea to lead our own lives well before leading others.
Not that I would have experienced this or anything. 😉
Love you friend.
These ideas are great! Thanks for sharing the encouraging words about small groups.
Hi Nancy Kay,
So glad you are here. Thanks for connecting with us!
Hugs,
Jo Ann
This is so good, Sister. I love your motto and live this outloud with you!! So much love your way today.
You encourage me to keep going! Love you, Sister!
I’ve definitely questioned my calling! Staying in Word daily and praising God throughout each day helps remind me of His love, truth, and good plan for my life.
Oh that we would daily remember his truth, love, and good plan! Great insight. XO
This is something I’ve been reminding myself of a LOT lately! It doesn’t matter who or what comes against me. I need to shake it off like Paul and Barnabas did in Acts and continue pressing forward with boldness. God doesn’t ask me to do something and then leave me stranded, unequipped. He has given me the Holy Spirit to help me.
If I have reached 1 person, it is all worth it!
Kristi . . .YES! love this!!
Awesome! We need more resources for women!
So glad you are here Miss Cindy!
I haven’t found a group quite yet that I can not only connect with but stay connected to; but these guidelines very uplifting and encouraging ways to keep women bonding. Thank you!
Tracy,
I’ve felt a little bit of that myself. Feeling like I was always on the outskirts of the group, peeking in, longing to connect. My prayer for you is that you will make the connections here and they will last. We have online meetings, monthly workshops, and social media connection points designed with this specific goal in mind: that we would connect and continue to walk alongside one another, always encouraging each other to keep in step with the Holy Spirit. We too want to do life together!
Welcome, friend.
It’s so hard to be connected in this fast paced, social media driven world. I have loved the small groups I’ve been a part of in real life. Thank you for the ideas!
Hey beautiful Sarah –thanks for spending time with us!
Love the beautiful new website! I remind myself of God’s call on my life by rereading God’s promises in Scripture. God called some mighty unlikely people in the OT and NT. There is absolutely no reason to think He doesn’t call us today…no matter how unqualified or unlikely candidates we may be. My word for this year is Called and I’m looking forward to seeing where God leads.
Oh how thankful I am He equips us as He calls us! I am one of the most unlikely folks of all, trust me.
Thanks for hanging out with us!
I’m excited about this new website! As a mom in ministry, I’m always looking for helpful resources and other women who can relate to the challenges. I’m so thankful you are offering this!
Oh Esther, we’re so glad you made your way here. You are such an important part of us now. Please be sure to let us know how to best serve you. XO
Thank you for these tips! They will be so helpful for the groups I’m leading. I’m excited about this site. 🙂
Oops! I commented before I went to the giveaway options. 🙂 I have frequently questioned God’s call on my life. When this happens, I go to several places: the Bible, prayer, friends I trust, and resources like books, talks, and articles that help reinforce truth in my life.
I love how the Truth leaks into all areas of our lives when we’re actively seeking it, right?!
I have been called by God in small but meaningful ways. Through walking up in front of relatives at a funeral and giving an encouraging touch to the Grandaughter, so she could deliver her eulogy. To touching shoulders of a bible study participant, so she could share her story. Praying over a stranger whose purse went missing in a retail store. Etc… whenever the Spirit moves in me and says go help.
Oh friend, it’s those small ways that make a big difference. Remember how the small is big through the lens of Jesus. Love that insight. Love your heart for making such a difference!
Love this post! I am beginning a new Propel Women Group in our women’s ministry at our newest church. We moved here to do a replant and I am loving connecting with these women. I have practiced many of your suggestions in the past and will continue.
Chocolate is always a great idea! 😉 I believe God has called me to continue to point women to their calling in Christ. I know that this group has and will continue to help me in that endeavor!
Blessings!
Connecting with women on a heart level, pointing people to Jesus, AND chocolate? Girl. those tips can’t be beaten. XO
There is so much truth in this post. I love this line “our identities do not lie in these numbers we reach” – I try to remember this when I do any kind of ministry. Great article and tips!
Thanks, Mary. So glad you are a part of our community. Your voice is beautiful and needed here!
Thank you. Exhausted empty nester, who cares for other’stuff kiddos through public school
Praying strength for your weary heart, friend. You are a warrior!
Thank you. We are trying to build authentic, vulnerable connection in our women at church and this is helpful.
Chocolate is definitely a godly resource!
Lots of chocolate, friend. Lots. 🙂
XO
This new home looks AMAZING, JoAnn! Can’t wait to see all the resources and conversations! Congratulations on your team and all your hard work!
Sweet Mei . . . so thankful you’ve joined us here!
Women Leading Women is such a Blessing
Thank You for sharing and all you do to encourage us!
I read the bible every night with my kids before bed.